SUNSET
I have an affinity for sunsets. Honestly, maybe it's because I've never really been a morning person and haven't witnessed as many sunrises. Or, in a more romantic vein, I like to think of them as playing a major role in my personal redemption story.
Sunsets are a visceral experience for me. I've been driving in my car only to catch a glimpse of a fire red sky dabbed with blue. If I am on a country road I almost always pull off to the side and get out knowing I am witnessing just a tiny gallery of God's finest works, and remembering a time thirty years ago, when I realized, I too was one of those works.
I had found recovery the summer of 1987, but it wasn't really until the fall of the following year that I recognized I needed to make a commitment to hand over my will and life to the care of a loving God if I was to stay sober. Trust did not come easy for me. I did believe it was God who intervened when I had cried out for help from (my words) "anyone who might perform a miracle". My inner Super Woman had temporarily thrown in the towel. A few months of success under my belt, and Super Woman returned home and said, "I'm good now. I'll take over, thank you very much, Mr. Very Distant and Busy God." 
Later the next year, some pretty big challenges for one so new in recovery and dealing with the crushing death of my mom, I recognized Super Woman had really died too, along with my addiction and I could not begin to manage life on my own. Driving home one evening, a burning bush sky forced me off the road, out of my car and into communion with the Artist that created it. Watching the swirls of color and the sun slip beneath the skyline, I made the decision- I could easily turn my will and life over to the care of the One who had painted such a spectacular canvas. It felt like it was special, just for me. What beauty could be created in my own life, if I just allowed the Artist to guide my hand and we both held the brush?
Ten years ago I spent the summer in Italy and France. Many hours we trekked through museums and churches chock full of beautiful Art created by the Masters; DaVinci, Michelangelo, Botticelli, Raphael, Cezanne, Matisse and Monet. Inevitably, the Art that took my breath away most evenings, was the painted sky, tucking itself into bed in the cliffs of Positano, Italy; or gently slipping into the lingerie of turquoise blue waves of the Mediterranean In Nice, France. Not to ever diminish Claude Monet's massive Water Lily canvases (one of my favorites) I am convinced sunsets in Europe must have been one of the muses for the artists who created the timeless paintings hanging in the Uffizi and the Louvre.
As I am aging, I am becoming more of a morning person - bedtimes come earlier and I rise with the sun. Maybe sunrises will become my reminder at the start of my day; someone bigger than me has got my back.
Comments
Post a Comment